Thursday, May 19, 2011

A Lady and a 'Thank You': Opinions

First of all, big thanks to everyone who shared their thoughts on the Lady and a Thank You dilemma I wrote about in my previous post!

Most of you thought I was right to offer my appreciation, and more than a few of you even admitted they’d feel offended if they were told “what a lady should or should not do”, as offered by commenter Brenda A. And while I personally didn't find the man's remark offensive, the topic is something I'm very curious about. So much so that I even took the time yesterday to write to Miss Manners and to the editors of the etiquette column at Real Simple asking for help with this matter!

Now let’s wait and see if they ever get back to me and help us figure it all out! (If you know of a website where I can ask for advice on good manners, please let me know so that I can consult them too). In the meantime, here are some of the main ideas expressed by you:

And here's an opinion from a friend of mine via Facebook:

Anna Dobrynina:

"I think you did the right thing. That man sounds a little creepy honestly. It's funny that he kind of went out of his way to come up to you and tell you that. What's wrong with saying thank you? It takes less than two seconds and just means that you acknowledge what was done for you, that's what I personally think."


  1. Can't wait to see what the experts have to say, really--now I'm curious! If anything, just such a good reminder to keep saying thank you. Over the past few months I've thought about the times when I've picked up the tab for an employee's dinner or something and they didn't bother to thank me. It always feels a bit disappointing. It made me get a lot more vocal in my thanks to others :)

    xo Mary Jo

  2. I find that a bit bizarre. Since when is saying thank you inappropriate?

  3. I love your interest in all things thankful!! I do believe that saying 'thank you' is proper and the right thing to do, no matter your sex. I don't know what the guy's intentions were but I do think you handled yourself properly. also, I hope Miss Manners writes back to you!! Etiquette stuff is so fun.

  4. Joining the convo late, but saying thank you is a must. We're not in the 19th century anymore where there are different roles and scripts for women and men. A "lady" should say thank you, period.

  5. ..cant wait to see what expert say's about the thing :) sometimes some of etiquette's are so silly , so I really cant wait ..but I think most of us think that THANK YOU is the right way :)

  6. p.s
    you really puzzled me for a second :) when my bf opening doors for me !!! hmm , sometimes I say ' thanks' and sometimes just a smile ..and that made me think about how we appreciate 'our own ' men :) seems that thank you is not nessesary every time but stranger will be thanked ..

    ..and talking about the topic , somehow when I read it I totally forget my every day morning trips to my daughters school gates , doors , lollipop lady at the traffic lights ..I think first there was 'thank you 'every time at the gates etc but now there is 'thank you' smile , maybe because when people see each other more often and became more familiar then it's somehow disappear ..
    But I still thank lollipop lady every time we cross the road :)

  7. i think saying thank you is a must too.

  8. Hi, Julia, almost the same thing happened to me yesterday...

    A man who dropped message in my FB message box:

    'Jose ******* May 17 at 10:00pm Report

    sorry for saying this... but... you are beautiful... :P

    Rachel Cheng May 17 at 10:09pm
    I'd say "Thank you for saying such a compliment."

    'Jose ******* May 17 at 10:10pm Report
    you are welcome and sorry for that... :)

    And I stop emailing back..... it will be no-stopping emails if I returned.... I think. :P

    How funny.....

    xo Rachel

  9. your comments are off for the post above but I wanted to say, I agree!! Usually when I over think something, I end up ruining its initial meaning. Anyway, the editors were right, the sentimental, short thought is perfect.

  10. I really hope Miss Manners gets back to you! I'm really curious as to what her opinion on the matter will be.

    Because I still think it was such an odd and rude thing for that man to say to you! :P

  11. can't wait to read your finding.

  12. Couldn't help commenting on this post-'Thank you ' is so easy to say but packs such a punch. Can't think why the guy said that to you. And yeah - couldn't find the comments button for the post above


I appreciate you taking the time to connect and share your thoughts, so thank you for your comment! And while you're at it... Why not tell me what you're thankful for today? ;-)