The 'Thank You' Project: December 2011

Continuing with the bigger-than-expected list of things my thanksgiving year changed in me, I'm here to share 7 more of the personal wonders:

It made me realize the true value of family. I guess I haven't quite been taught it as a kid as it took gratitude to open my eyes and make me see family ties in a different light. I understand now that even if we don't always get along I can still count on them should anything happen. And even though I like to depend on myself when it comes to most things in life, I must admit it is a very comforting feeling to know that someone has your back.
Now, in going through an uneasy situation, I look for the signs of healing in my behavior and way of thinking instead of focusing on the negative aspects of such situation and making it worse by not being of much help to myself.
I don’t seem to be wishing for tragic endings to fiction books I read any more. This is amusing, but somehow I used to resent the idea of a happy ending, because one always seemed unrealistic to me. It sounded fake, too sweet and made no sense. I liked the characters flawed and broken and I needed the plot to be heart-wrenching and almost unbearable. Having recently read a new novel, I realized I actually wished everything in the storyline was going to end just fine. Maybe the change is because I’m finally ready to allow no more drama in my personal life and thus I can accept a happy ending in a book where tragedy isn’t necessary to get a point across. I guess I don't need reassurance in my misery and unhappiness since those two no longer tell the story of my life.
In being so appreciative of all the good and bad times in my life, I really don’t feel this common 'feeling' of time running out or flying or otherwise being on the verge of disappearance. Everything seems to follow its own very right pace to me.
When I'm not in love with some person I still feel like I'm in love with the whole world.
When I was a teen I thought happiness was being understood by those you cared about the most, now I realize happiness is just as much about really understanding oneself first.
I can go to bed and look forward to each new day, because regardless of what it brings, I know I'll be just fine. Tomorrow is a new day and there will be a new thing to be thankful for, and if there won't be a new thing to be thankful for, there would still be all the old things left. And if I lose those things tomorrow, there would still be my life and past to be thankful for... And if I die tomorrow, things just wouldn't matter, but while I'm here I can always find something to be thankful for.

That's all for now, but who knows, I might as well come back with more some time soon!

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